All Over Again
by BigTimeAuthor
Summary: 1st story!:)You just lost your boyfriend, Carlos, and now you don't know what to do because the loss of him is weighing you down. What will happen when Logan tries to date you? And what will happen in the end?Sucky Summary but plz read!
1. Chapter 1

** This is my first story on fanfiction soo plz plz plz review let me know what you think! hope you like it. srry the chaptera are short i'll try to make the next one longer!Enjoy!**

You're sitting in the church you met at. You remember that moment your eyes locked exactly. He was in the sixth row, you in the one behind. When you had to greet each other and say peace it gave you both an excuse to look into each other's eyes and hold hands. After mass you exchanged numbers and your relationship took off from there. It's been 9 months since then, but you're not here to pray or give thanks to God. You're here to grieve and question God. Your boyfriend is resting peacefully in his casket right in front of you. He always looked cute when he slept but this is just wrong!

Carlos Garcia is gone! He was 23 and a member of the boy band Big Time Rush. He was the sweetest, kindest person you've ever known. You loved Carlos so much and you didn't even get a year together! You have to go up now after Logan, James, and Kendall to share your memories of Carlos.

(15 min later)

You're in the pew again between his parent's and the guys. You can't stop crying while Kendall puts his arm around you shushing you softly. After the funeral Kendall walks you out and to your car. Carlos and you lived together during his last month. You can't stand being in or near the house since he left so you are staying at a hotel in town. That night you look at pictures of you together and cry yourself to sleep.

Next Day

Carlos is fully in the ground now. Your holding on to Logan now while sulking yet again. Everyone else is leaving now but the guys stay by your side. you put flowers on top of the freshly laid dirt. You ask Logan if he can give you a few min. alone and they walk back to their cars.

"Carlos I promise to visit you whenever I have time. I miss you and love you, but I'm sure you know that. Anyway visit you soon!"

You wipe your tears away and walk to James. You had him pick you up.

"Are you ready to head back?"

"Yes"

The guys hug you and kiss you goodbye. Logan whispers in your ear as he hugs you, "Come by my place tomorrow. Anytime is fine." You nod and get in James's car. On your way to the hotel James asks you at least ten times if you would like to stay at his place and you say you'll think about it. When you get in your room you start to wonder what Logan could possibly want.


	2. Chapter 2:Death Date

**A.N.: plz review and tell others to read hope you like it! In this chapter you find out what Logan wants and how Carlos died.**

The next day you wake up in your hotel room. You get breakfast and coffee in the lobby after showering and getting dressed. You then head off to go for a walk on the beach. You like the calmness it brings you but it also reminds you of the different things you did on the beach with Carlos. Thinking of all the dates makes you feel like he's right there walking with you. When you get back to your car you head to the cemetery to visit as promised. Ahead stone is not there yet but soon will be so all that's there is your flowers and the dirt. You sit down beside the area and talk and cry with Carlos but mostly smile because when you look up to the sky you can know he will always stare right back with his cute eyes and smile!

After finishing up and blowing kisses to the sky you drive to Logan's place. You park in front of the story house and walk to the door. It takes a few knocks and a doorbell before he opens the door for you. He's in sweats and a wife-beater. "Come on in (YN)." "Thanks." You go inside and he ushers you to sit on the coach and he follows to sit next to you. He looks at you but you stare at the ground. "I know this is a hard time for you and I don't want you to be alone so would you please come stay here? I have a guest room all set up and I'll take care of you!" You think about it and since you like and trust Logan and you know he's just trying to help so you agree.

You both walk out to his car so you can get your stuff from the hotel and then Carlos's house. About 30 minutes later you and Logan are outside Carlos's house. You really don't want to go in and Loan sees the hurt on your face so he squeezes your hand and whispers it's all right. You open the door and walk to the front door. You still have the key so u fish it out of your pocket and unlock the door. Everything is still in its place since you were last in the house a couple days ago. You walk up the stairs to your shared bedroom and open the door. When you walk in you instantly think about Carlos and your tragic last day together.

(Flashback)

You were just out on a walk or otherwise a date. Carlos decided to get ice cream and go to the park but the worst possible thing that could happen did then and there. A black car rolled past and in the blink of an eye two bullets were shot right into Carlos! None hitting you and when Carlos falls with a scream you go to his side lifting him up a bit trying to slow the bleeding. You are crying and screaming for help while squeezing his hand to let him know you are there. You whisper to him everything will be alright but it didn't turn out that way and Carlos didn't make even to the ambulance. He was already gone in your arms!

(End Flashback)

It will never be the same and as you think of that dreadful evening you lost everything, the love of your life you realize you are on the bed crying in Logan's big strong arms. His whispering to you, "shhhh, shhh it's gonna be alright", even though you both know it won't be.

(Hour and a half later)

Logan grabbed all your stuff out of the house and packed it in his car. Anything that was Carlos's was left until you find out where it should go. You are now in the guest room Logan fixed up for you on the bed. He insists you just relax while he unpacks your things and you do just that. When he's done you decide to sleep and Logan let's you do that knowing you need it.

(Logan's POV)

I shut her door and let her sleep while I make supper. She doesn't wake up so I leave a little something in her room. When I met (YN) I had a bit of a crush on her but didn't let Carlos of her know because they were happy and I didn't want to ruin true love so I let it go. As I go to bed, I think of how to get (YN) to be my GF without pressuring her but I guess if she doesn't feel the same I understand. I want to show her though I'll continue to give her the love and care Carlos gave her. Will she ever love again though? I think maybe it's a bad idea to try to make a move on my best friend's, who is now dead, girlfriend until I remember what Carlos told me.


	3. Chapter 3:Not The End of the World

**A.N.- Srry its taking me so long to write im really busy at the moment but after the beginning of April I will update more. Keep reading, pls review, and enjoy here is chapter 3!**

You wake up, get dressed, and take a shower before you go downstairs to get some coffee. On your way out you notice Logan left you a note, cookies, and a glass of milk. All you can think is how sweet and leave them there for later. The note reads,

Dear (YN),

I had to leave for an important meeting. I'll be back later. Help yourself to whatever you'd like. I have something I have to show you later when I get back.

Love, Logan

After reading you get your coffee and go on a walk to the cemetery.

(Logan's POV)

We decide we are going to be a trio but if we don't sell BTR is over and we're all going solo. I cry a little when they talk about Carlos being gone and us having to move on. He was like a brother to me. Always energetic and trying to make everyone happy.(YN) was a lucky girl. We all miss him very much and Big Time Rush will never be the same.

(Your POV)

After the visit to Carlos's grave you snap because you can't handle the pain of him be gone! The minute you get to Logan's place you head to his liquor and medicine cabinets. You've never attempted this before but you assume you've done it right when everything gets hazy and all of a sudden darkness.

(Logan's POV)

I get home and when I open the door I can't believe my eyes! (YN) is on the couch passed out with liquor and a bottle of meds on the table. I instantly call 911 and check her breathing. Luckily I got to her fast enough, she is still breathing.

(2hrs later the hospital)

The nurse says it is alright for me to see her now. I walk in. She's staring at the ceiling avoiding my presence. I'm sure she knows what im thinking. "Hey." She ignores me but I bring a chair close to her bed side. I grab her hand but she pulls away and turns over away from me. "(YN), I may not know what you're feeling exactly but you certainly can't do this to yourself! Carlos would never want you doing this and neither do I! I'm here for you (YN) and I'm not angry because I get it. You miss him but believe it or not I do too and so does everyone else. I also have something to share with you." She finally turns over and hugs me crying into my shoulder while I let a few tears fall into her hair. When she's ready I hand her the note Carlos gave me 6 months ago only 2 months after they started dating.

(Your POV)

You take the note and read it.

Dear Logan,

I know you love (YN) and I mean who wouldn't she's great! I notice the way you look at her and treat her. I admire the way you look out for her when I'm not there and this is why I'm writing this letter and hopefully you can promise me it! If anything ever happens to me I want you to take care of (YN)! Not that Kendall or James can't but you love her and she loves you! I also don't care if you stay together forever after I'm gone but don't forget me and never treat her badly! I just want both of you happy so Logan can you promise me this?

Your Friend, Carlos

You tear up once again and hold Logan tight. He whispers, "I'm keeping his promise no matter what!" You then look into his eyes and kiss him rough with need and passion and comfort. You do love Logan, you did tell Carlos that, and you notice the way James and Kendall look at each other. You're just waiting for the day they come out If Carlos wants you guys to be happy then you're sticking by Logan's side! You need that love that you lost and the comfort to cure your pain. You realize then that almost everything is gonna be okay. When you're done kissing all you 2 can say is wow! You then calm down and just smile while holding Logan's hand. "Will you give me at least one night to show you I love you and you're mine forever? I know you may not be over Carlos but we don't have to rush." He asks. You respond, "Okay and no I am not over him but hopefully you can help me deal with the pain and bring me back to happiness. Carlos will always be my favorite but I know you'll understand." "I do. I'm okay with being second because I finally have the love of my life! If you're not into it because you know Carlos is watching and we were best friends and it's weird that's okay too!" You just nod and think about being with Logan. Carlos is going to be your guardian angel and he'll protect you and Logan and you also know he won't mind because as he said he just wants you both to be happy. It is not the end of the world, it is just the beginning!

**Srry if that got a little confusing I just want to get the point across that Carlos will never be there and You still love him.**


	4. Chapter 4:Yes

After spending the night in the hospital you wake up to see that Logan stayed with you and slept in the uncomfortable arm chair that was next to your bed. He looks so cute when he sleeps. You try not to wake him up so you just turn on the tv quietly. A while later u hear rustling in the chair and Logan starts waking up. You turn off the tv to look at him. He smiles when he notices you staring.

"How Are you feeling?"

"Good. I bet you can't wait to get out of here right which means you wont try anything like that again to get back right?"

"Yes."

"Thank you"

"No, thank you Logan"

He then takes your hand while you wait for a nurse to let you leave.

(Out of hospital)

"So do you wanna go get breakfast somewhere?"

"Sure."

"Where to?"

"Wherever you want (YN)."

"It's up to you."

"Ok, I know the perfect place."

You and Logan end up going to a quiet and small café for coffee and pancakes. You guys talk more and try to avoid any sad subjects. You two basically laugh the whole time. He does tell you though about a therapist you will be visiting every 2 weeks for a while and then later on whenever you feel like it. After you feel you have run out of things to talk about Logan brings up your date. You almost forgot!

"So what do you want to do tonight?",he asks.

"I'm not sure."

"Well what did you and Carlos like to do or what do you like to do?"

"Well I guess I've considered the beach, a dinner, a concert, or a movie. Which do you like out of those?"

"I haven't been to the beach in a while how about we do a little picnic and watch the sunset?"

"Sure but one thing can we not go to Rock Point? That was Carlos's favorite beach. I don't want to think about him too much while I'm trying to enjoy myself with you."

"Absolutely! So is it a date?"

"Yes!"

After you say yes he gives you a kiss on the cheek and walks you to his car.

(6 pm the beach)

You and Logan are spread out under a palm tree just taking everything in. There hasn't been much talking just mostly smiling and laughing. Logan has made you stop thinking about Carlos's death for a while and you're really thankful for him for that peace and happiness he's given you. You are wearing a beautiful pink and flowered sundress and Logan can't stop staring so you know he likes it. After a little picnic, for dessert Logan brings out chocolate covered strawberries. They are delicious and it is so sexy when you and logan feed each other. He is just so cute tonight, you rarely ever get to see this sweet side of him. Carlos did something like this too for you but again you try not to think about him right now. After you finish up Logan puts a protective arm around you and you two watch the sunset. Being close next to him feels like you were puzzle pieces that finally came together. Before the suns gone Logan says, "You look beautiful (YN)!"

"Thanks."

"I've really loved this date and like I said before I know I maybe rushing it, but I really love you and I think we could make this work! I don't want to make you completely forget Carlos and I know you won't, he was your first real love, but I want to relieve some of the pain and have you be happy again."

"Logan thank you sooo much for tonight and you have taken the pain away."

"Oh, wow, really?"

"Yeah."

You lean in and look into his eyes and before you know it you're lips are locked and all you know is you never want it to end but when you need a break for air logan says, "I love you (YN)"

"I love you too Logan!"

(9:00 am Sat. morning)

You wake up next to Logan in his bed with nothing but one of Logan's shirts on you. Last night was amazing. You just lie there replaying the whole night in your head over and over again. It couldn't have felt more right or been more perfect. It was like being with Carlos all over again. To think you would never love again pft. Maybe Logan was the right one all along but you regret nothing you did with Carlos.

(Logan's POV 9:30 am)

I slowly wake up to see (YN) laying on my chest circling her hand over my stomach.

"Mornin."

"Morning Logie."

I don't always like my nickname but coming from (YN's) lips is so sweet.

"What do you want me to make you for breakfast?"

"Can you make French toast?"

"Certaintly."

I get up to o make her breakfast but before I make it down the steps (YN) says yes and I just smile

**Plzz review I hope you liked this chapter there's some excitement coming in chapter 5!**


	5. Chapter 5:Coming Out

**A.N.- You guys are in for some big news this chapter and plz don't forget to comment and favorite or follow this story. Ik it has been a while but I plan on updating more frequently during the summer so now that im done plz read and enjoy!**

The next week goes pretty good until the next week. You suddenly start to feel like you have the flu. Logan keeps worrying about you the whole week. He tries everything in his power to make you feel better but nothing seems to help. You hope it passes soon because you haven't visited Carlos and you want to be with Logan without worrying about throwing up or something. On Saturday James and Kendall come over to see how everyone's doing since you know what happened.

Kendall asks, "How are you two doing I heard your dating now?"

"Yes we are and we're all alright except YN hasn't been feeling the greatest lately."

"Good and I'm so sorry you aren't feeling good YN maybe you should see a doctor."

"Maybe," You reply.

James says, Well we have some news we would like to share with you two. Kendall and I are together!"

"OMG that's… that's great you two," Logan says.

And right before you congratulate them you throw up all over the carpet and then you instantly make a run for the bathroom door. You quick got to the toilet to heave some more. Logan comes racing in after you start to calm down he pulls your hair back and rubs your back telling you its okay. Logan tells you he's taking you to the doctor and that Kendall and James will stay here to clean up and wait till you're back.

Hospital

The nurse comes in and asks you a few questions. After that you are told to have an ultrasound. The nurse puts gel on your tummy which is actually quite cold. Logan holds your hand and kisses it softly. It gives you a sense of security. The nurse searches your stomach until she finds exactly what she's looking for. She says, "Congratulations Miss YLN you are going to have a child. You and Logan share a look and both your eyes tear up. You are worried though. Its only been about two weeks since you started dating and 3 since you lost Carlos. You were with Carlos 9 months, Logan only 2 weeks! Is it too fast?

In Car

Logan's POV

I can't believe im going to be a father but at the same time im regretting this because we've only been together 2 weeks! We're not even married but I plan on proposing soon now. I get pulled out of my thoughts by YN. "Logan?"

"Yes YN." "Maybe this is a mistake I actually thought you were going to be safe!"

"I'm sooo sorry I really am YN…"

"Logan it's alright im happy I really am but – but.."

"what you can tell me?!"

"Logan this may not be your baby."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean a few days before Carlos died we did it for the first time."

"Oh."

"And I fear it may be his child not yours. I want to find out though who's it is as soon as possible Logie im so sorry really!" she starts to cry a little I take her hand and say, "No no it's okay I'm ok and I understand also I can't believe it took you guys that long the guys me thought you would have done that a long time ago." I try to lighten the mood and she laughs a little and says I know right. But I do almost break down because I may not be the father but for Carlos I'm going to be the best father figure and take care of possibly his or my baby the best I can!

Home

Your POV

When we get back home we find James and Kendall almost fully naked on our living room couch wrapped up in each other making out and other things. We just walk away and let them finish but on your way out you tell Logan you knew it all along that they had feelings for each other.


End file.
